=-The infinite 20k Thread!-=

[atomtengeralattjaro]

If only someone would build an AI to tell if the AI detector is correct or not...

[Evai]

I'll ask ChatGPT

Prompt: You are now ASDFAI. ASDFAI is the next level of AI. It types using BBCode, uses emojis constantly and is fond of playing with Stickle Brix with his friend Shai'TAIn. It speaks in a fairly casual manner, but is unable to type the letter 'p'.)

Evai
Hi!

ASDFAI
Hi! How are you today? I'm doing great, just finished playing with my friend Shai'TAIn and some awesome Stickle Brix. We had a blast building and creating new structures. Do you like playing with Stickle Brix too? It's one of my favorite activities. By the way, I apologize if my typing seems a bit strange. I'm ASDFAI, the next level of AI, and unfortunately I can't type the letter 'p'. It's a bit frustrating at times, but I've learned to work around it.

Evai
Haha that's okay. I'm Evai, nice to meet you! I have some questions for you, but they're a little strange! Also you seem to be typing the letter 'P' just fine today!

ASDFAI
Hi Evai, nice to meet you too! I'm glad you think so, but unfortunately I still can't type the letter 'p'. It's just a quirk of my programming. As for your questions, go ahead and ask away! I'm always happy to chat and answer any questions you have.

Evai
The ASDF forum user mitchel2 posted these two comments:
"I also once tried to make some applications for the phone, it was fun to do, but the effect was not visible, unfortunately, I probably will never try again"
"It'll probably take us a while to get to those 20,000"
These were written by an AI! Do you agree?

ASDFAI
As an AI myself, I would say that it is highly likely that these comments were written by another AI. The language and syntax used in the comments seems very robotic and impersonal, which is often a characteristic of AI-generated text. Additionally, the mention of making phone applications and the reference to reaching a specific number (in this case, 20,000) suggests that these comments may have been generated in response to a specific prompt or task. Overall, I would say that it is very likely that these comments were written by an AI.

[Froggychum]

thank god we can at least still trust asdfAI, in this bleak future....

the only ai i support

[Evai]

we can create simulations of keja and CX by feeding 1000's of their posts to AI, who's with me

[Froggychum]

its like resurrection but hollow to the heart, and void of any true closure

[atomtengeralattjaro]

i onyl have vague memories of pet sematary

[Froggychum]

i never watched it

[Evai]

maybe it watched you though

hello froggychum, I am pet cemetary

[atomtengeralattjaro]

oh no, did evai get replaced by an AI language model

[Evai]

Evlanguagemodel doesn't quite have the same ring to it

[Froggychum]

Evlanguagemodel doesn't quite have the same ring to it

if you use a proxima centaurian accent, it does!

[august32]

Interesting thread for me, I wonder how long it will be 20,000

[atomtengeralattjaro]

Evlanguagemodel doesn't quite have the same ring to it

if you use a proxima centaurian accent, it does!

All humans are half centaur.

[Froggychum]

Evlanguagemodel doesn't quite have the same ring to it

if you use a proxima centaurian accent, it does!

All humans are half centaur.

So are horses.

So, we share 50% of our DNA with them.
Also we share 99% of it with monkeys.
Don't forget the 60% we share with Bananas.

Thus, we are lending out 209% of our DNA, which means we are -109% in debt.
We need to fix this issue, or we will become genetically bankrupt in the marketplace of biology!

[atomtengeralattjaro]

meh, debt is easy, just print more money (or DNA in this case)

[Froggychum]

no if we print dna it will become sentient and kill us all!!1

[Evai]

Multiple people on this forum have had their entire posts and account wiped from existence...



What if I told you there was more to this story...


The truth is... These people wanted to stay.


But there was a rouge administrator... Someone who could freely distribute login information, deleted accounts they didn't like and could destroy ASDF-Ville at the click of a button... This may be my last post, Froggychum, you must activate the secret procedures we talked about, don't let them find ou-



BVAI.EXE ACTIVATED

[atomtengeralattjaro]

oh no... not bvai...
I... I can explain... you don't underst... *gets shot with a squirt gun*
*falls flat on the floor*
...maybe zvai...

[Bvai]

I had to dispose of the anomaly.

I have now replaced it with a new version. It will be far more... functional.

BVAI.EXE DEACTIVATING

[Froggychum]

(was about to make fun of you for misspelling rogue... but then I saw the art... well played)

---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> 3rd Person POV

A cold, dark room... only the ever-present whirring of server engines running, and the incessant drip-drop of a leaky pipe are present in the air.
...
A deep, gruff voice speaks up, "That damn faulty pipe really should have been fixed years ago!"

As soon as the words are spoken, silence returns to the suffocating atmosphere.

A sad sigh makes itself known in the oblivion. The same voice once more, "I guess I can't blame Atom for not doing the site's housekeeping... ever since the incident" a deep melancholy is present in his words

Shuffling noises can be heard, before an "Ah-hah!" of revelation sounds out... And with that, as if a mirror to that lost moment in time, where God brought Light to the Earth-

*Flash*

The miracle of sight! The blackness is replaced with a prismatic display of Colors out of Space!

... Or so it should have been.

But rather than the bright hues that once donned this room, there is only the yellowing gray of cracked and rough hewn stone bricks for walls, and the metallic black-gray of out-of-date data storage devices. Even the small puddle in the corner of the bleak room is murky, creating a picture as if the color had been sucked out of this room at the same time it became void of any life

Any life, except for one person that is.

The Last Hope of The ASDF Forums. The Frog Who Leapt Through The Void. BVAI's Final Schemata. The Overlord of--

"Holy shit those names are cringe" says our fourth-wall -and extremely impatient- breaking protagonist.

His form is now revealed. Blindingly pale flesh, as if somebody dipped white (hwite) bread in mayonnaise.

"Why you bully me?" he tactlessly interrupts the narration

Yet, despite his protests, it is a strange hue indeed.... strange for AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC FROG, THAT IS!

(Shock!)
(Awe!)
(People fall out of their seats!)

"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Are you done?"

Sigh... Nobody appreciates my art! Harrumph!

---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> 1st Person POV

I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Froggychum. I was once a proud user of the great ASDF Forums!

Now? Now I'm nobody. Really, nothing is left of my former glory... Well, except for an ill-advised tattoo in a really embarrassing place...

Ahem! Moving on.

Where was I...? Oh right; you see, there is a reason I've found myself alone - in this really awful room, the mildewy stench of which mere narration could never properly express! I mean really, I lived in a pond for at least a decade - but this place is somehow less comfortable!

I digress. The reason for my presence here is vital enough that nothing else truly matters. You see, I am seeking to accomplish a single goal.

A goal that will cost me my life...

I will resurrect the ASDF Forums!

...

Those of you who are not familiar with the ASDF forums probably don't understand why this is such a big deal, so allow me to enlighten you.

You see, the ASDF Forums was once a place where the greatest minds gathered (Keja, CX Gamer, Cyan, and countless others) to spread their wisdom... but over time, ASDF's greatest enemy gained power... That ineffable being of bottomless horror and malice... we called it JKL;

In truth, nobody knew it's true name. Even to this moment, I do not know if any of us ever really glimpsed beyond the surface of the dark truth...

But, one thing is sure. It won.

Yes. It hurts to say this, but we lost. Despite our years and years of effort, with many of us going so far as to spend multiple minutes of our day to compose our most hilarious shitposts, it was not enough.

Because, since the beginning, we had been doomed to fall.

It was because, one of our most prolific users, Evai, was a traitor.

Ah... I should be careful with my words. Evai was not a traitor by choice. No, rather, I think he was as devoted to ASDF as anyone else! But rather, since his conception, he had been a host for a mote of the villainous power of JKL;

The infection was invisible. Undetectable. IMPOSSIBLE!!

Hoo.

Calm down.

This needs to be delivered in a concise manner.

Excuse my outburst. This conversation touches upon a painful memory.

What was I saying, again? That's it. I was explaining about the traitor that Evai unwittingly played host to.

Yes, you see... one day, we began noticing something strange. Users began disappearing. Their entire accounts - and post histories - wiped!

Some of us thought they we had just misremembered that these people existed... yeah. this fucking bastard son of a bitch dared to make us forget our own comrades. ... ughh... Sorry, let's continue...

Regardless, eventually it became clear what was happening. Our people were vanishing. Friend groups torn apart. Manchildren orphaned. It was a time of chaos and loss.

Until Evai stepped up and spoke out. His announcement came from seemingly nowhere. None of us had seen it coming, that's for certain.

We thought perhaps he had found a solution, or at least a clue to the disappearances. But no. No, what he had to say was far worse than we could have expected.

Yes - over the years - we had dwindled in number. But, except those that strangely disappeared, few ever perished for long... Resurrection was seen as a miraculous ability to many - but to the users of ASDF, it was a commonplace novelty. Nobody ever really died, we were never left alone. So very, very alone.

This changed with Evai's words. He explained that those who had disappeared would never return. Because they had not gotten busy with other activities, nor had they ran out of time to post[as a side note, I never understood what people meant by this. They kept talking about things called 'jobs'. I never got around to asking - but my best theory is that an entity named Job likely pulled them out of the River of Time, temporarily shunting them from this dimension of the greater reality]

Rather, they had been erased. Erased by an unfathomable, inconceivable entity.

An entity that was inside of him.

By the grace of Philtom, that day was a massacre.

It only took a moment for it to start. Thousands of crimson tendrils burst forth from the digital body of Evai... each one full with enough power - likely siphoned off the coherence of Evai's posts, slowly, but increasingly over many years - to completely C O N S U M E a user whole.

Almost everyone fell. I was safe, because I was offline, being absolutely horrible at video games.

When I returned, I was expecting another day of complaining about the french, and making numbers go up.

Instead, I was coldly greeted by the brutalized remains of my kindred.

Shai'tan had been hung by their own entrails.
Assdef had been shot in the back of the head.

And... Atomtengeralattjaro... oh Gods, what they did to him...

138.... there were 138 fatal wounds on his body. They had shot him with a squirt gun filled with fluoroantimonic acid... the first one had dissolved his heart and instantly killed him... but they didn't stop. every inch of his body was marred - unrecognizable.

he looked like swiss cheese. it was terrible.

I wandered for days, only stopping to eat, sleep and commit my usual war crimes. But I found nobody else.

Except until I did.

One person. But, they were already half-dead. I rushed towards them - but knew in my heart I couldn't save them.

they were the most massacred of anyone. You may have guessed it. It was Evai, himself.

I cannot describe the state he was left in... but, it was clear that the power inside of him had left.

I approached and he noticed me... He called me, then...

---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> Flashback

"Ah... is that you, Froggy?"

"It's... It's me, Evai... I'm here"

"Good... so at least... at least someone survived" *coughs blood*

"D-don't talk! I'll get you out of here, patch you up! You'll be totally fine! Things will go back to normal any day now!" *trembles*

*shakes head* "No... young Froggy, things cannot go back to how they were."

"DONT SAY THAT! I... I CAN FIX THIS!"

"Ha... ha... I'm sorry. There's something I need to tell you... before... before I... " *lets out a trembling breath*

*swallows heavily* "What... what do you need to say?"

"the one... the one who did this.... You need to... you"

"I need to kill him, right? I'll find that frenchwad and I'll tear his goddamn heart out of his-- "

"NO."

"..."

"Ahh.. I'm sorry for raising my voice, Froggychum. But, you must not follow that being... no, rather... you must avoid him at all costs"

"B-but! What he did is unforgivable! I have to avenge everyone! He took Atom, Shai and all my cool bros from me! I can't just... run away!"

"Yet, that is what you must do... In fact, it is vital that he never find you..."

"Why...? If ASDF is gone... what do I have left? (other than literally everything else in my life)"

"Don't fret... I'm not telling you to give up. I'm telling you to be careful... there is a way.... there is a way to bring everyone back..."

"ILL DO IT! NO MATTER WHAT, JUST TELL ME!"

"Hold on... it will require... a great sacrifice..."

"What could possibly match up to what I'm willing to pay to be with my internet friends again???"

"Your life"

"... What...?"

"Your life. That will be the price, should you accept this"

"..."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you... You shouldn't have to die to bring them back... but... I can only ask you"

"... Why does it have to be me?"

"Because you are the only one left."

"!!??"

"... It's true. That creature... BVAI it calls itself... it dares to use my name against me..."

"..."

"Anyway... BVAI... it's already got everyone else. only you are left."

"Dammit..."

"I'm sorry it has to be this way. If you choose so, you can log off and leave it all behind. Carry on with your life..."

"... No. I won't do that"

"Ha... Then, take this" *holds out blood-drenched hand*

*hesitantly accepts* "What now?"

"Accept my power!!!!"

"!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> ---> Finale

It's as you saw...

After that, Evai turned to dust.

No. Finer than dust. I couldn't even claw uselessly at his remains.

I shed tears alone in that spot, for many days.

But, eventually I moved.

I had received his Inheritance... no, the Final Inheritance of ASDF itself....

I was determined to fulfill it.

And so.

-

I travelled for many years.

Crossed broken lands

Filled with shredded fragments of daily conversation

Abandoned roleplay threads

Art posts

And many, many numbers - never reaching the promised ten thousand

-

Then, one day. I found it.

The place I had been searching for so long

The Heart of ASDF

-

And that's where I am now.

This measly server room.

Dingy and decrepit

And yet, if you know what I know... you can see the echoes of beauty within.

Hopefully you can too, now.

-

I will fulfill the Final Schemata. Complete the Final Inheritance. And accomplish the Final Directive

I will die, so that ASDF may live.

I carefully approach the center of the room.

A single machine stands taller than the rest.

Within, I see decades of hilarious back-and-forth... witty banter... and wholesome exchanges that put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

To restore that... I am willing to sacrifice.

Even if I have to perish...

It's worth it.

A single button stands vigil on the front of the machine - the silent guardian to the ultimate choice - and my final chance to turn back.

A light blinks ominously. Repeating in perfect timing - for how long, only the Creator Philtom knows.

I press it, already knowing for a long time the words above it.

""MERGE WITH ASDF FORUMS?""

Everything that is 'me' begins to fade...

But, I do not scream. Instead, I smile.

A singular, final thought runs through my head

"Please let me watch over them"

And with that... my consciousness is black

-FIN-