+------+
People of ASDF, hear my plea. Tomorrow evening I have a first-date with the funniest, smartest, most attractive, most phenomenal, friendliest, most-super-amazingest woman in the world. She's the real deal. To that end; I'm looking for any and all extra karma you may have stored up to help me hit it off with her.
If you have any extra good karma saved up, please consider sending it this way. My goal is to store up a giant super bright energy-blast of anti-emo-karma and explode the earth (and our date) with positive energy. Do it. Do it now.
Thank You for your time.
Finn
+------+ UPDATE +------+
Just got back. I, uh, kdsfllsdflajds;fasljf;asldfjas;fsajdfsadkljfa;slfdkjdas;fljkas;dfljk
I can't think straight right now, let alone type. I'll attempt to summarize with a .gif.
You know what? Screw that. That's not nearly awesome enough.
It. Was. Amazing. She's amazing. The coffee shop was amazing. The walk was amazing. The movie was amazing. She's amazing.
We're meeting for lunch tomorrow before our classes together. I'm head-over-heels right now. I'm in-lesbians.
Just as well, Thanks to you fine gentlemen (assdef, atom, & AF) for sending me a wonderful shower of karma! Much appreciated!
I'll pay you back one day - You have my word!
+------+ UPDATE #2 +------+
[Monday Evening] The date. Picked her up. She's beautiful. Went out for coffee. Delicious. To the movie. Wrong theater. Picked a random flick. Horror film. Walked around for an hour waiting for the film to start. Confessed I hate horror films. Went anyway. Held hands. Heartbeat x 100. Took her home. Walked to the doorstep. Romantic dialogue. Fade to black.
[Tuesday Afternoon] "Let's grab lunch". Deal. She's beautiful. Back at her-place. Met the dog. Growls. Grilled cheese. Start a movie. Dogma. Paused the film. Time for class together. Can't focus. Next class together. Can't focus. Walk her to the bus-stop. Can't say goodbye. Brain. Mush. "Let's finish the movie later". Deal. Back at her place. Evening. Meet the roomies. We're on the couch. Finish the movie. Start a new one. Can't focus. She catches me. Sleep on the couch. Best-worst sleep ever. Heatbeat x1,000. Fade to black.
[Wednesday] Lunch with my father. Gush to him about her. Show him a picture. "She's cute". Text her. Wants a picture of him. "He's adorable". Wants to meet the family. Sometime soon. She's off at five. Pick her up. Back to her place. She showers. She's beautiful. Head up into town to meet a friend. They hit it off. I'm relieved. Ramen. Dessert. Back to her place. Crash in her room. Censored. Heartbeat x 10,000. Best-best sleep ever. I'm in lesbians. Fade to black.
[Thursday] Today. Woke up in her room. Is this real? Pinch is. Gotta' get her up. Don't want to. She's beautiful. Drop her off. "See you in-class". Shower. Pinch myself again. Back to my place. Sleep like crap. Wake up. Head up to campus. Meet her early. Walk to class. Can't focus. Next class. Can't focus. Walk her to the bus-stop. "Goodbye". She's busy tonight. Even still; I hope she calls. For the love of God Almighty I hope she calls. It's too late. I'm head-over-heels. Sitting in my last class of the day, I write this fragmented entry. Can't focus. What's the class? Sigh. I'm really, really in-lesbians. She's beautiful.
+------+ UPDATE #3 +------+
[Friday] Wake up at her place. She's beautiful. Drove her down to another city. She'll be away for the weekend. Ugh. How will I survive? Don't think -- Start driving. We eat Thai food at her Uncle's place. He's nice. I drop her off. She waves. My heart drops. We text later. She's fine. I tell her to be safe. Sleep.
[Saturday] Wake up at a friend's place. Where am I? It's awful. I'm love-sick: I know it. Even though I can't see her, she's beautiful. Lunch with friends. Distracted. See an ice-skating rink. Remember to mention that as a potential date-night later. Head into a shop to have my car's oil changed. She calls. I walk around a park while we're on the phone. Beautiful day outside. On the phone, she refer's to herself as 'My Girlfriend', and my heart skips a beat. We start planning Valentines day. She likes chocolate and wolves. Mental bookmark. Regardless: that's too far away for me. I want to see her now, but that's not possible. She has to go. I need to study. Sigh. Sleep. I miss her.
+------+ UPDATE #4 +------+
[Sunday] She's still out of town. I'm alone. Painful. Ugh. Out with friends. Can't stop gushing. She's beautiful. What'll it be. She calls. Something is wrong. She's hurt -- and I don't have permission to pry. A city away; I can't do anything for her in this moment. I spit out some tired cliche' phrases. I'm here for you. Call me whenever you need it. That crap. I missed an opportunity to help her. Midnight. Studying. One. Studying. Two. Just Dance 3. Runnin' up an' down. [1] [2], when, all of a sudden -- epiphany. I've missed something huge. I need to tell her. How could I have been so foolish.
[Monday] She may or may not be coming back tonight. I miss her. She's beautiful. What can I do? What should I do. Studying. More studying. That eat-thing. Lunch with Mom. Show her a photograph. She likes her. Of course. Speak on the phone briefly. Doesn't know if she's coming back still. Doctor's appointment. That's fine. I'll be waiting. Hang out. Socialize. Think. Food. Write. Ten. The phone rings. "Come over". I'm running. I'm running so fast my guts come up. I have to tell her.
Step through the door. Her dog looks happy. I'm happy. Time to do her laundry. I'm whipped. I'm fine with that. I smile. Fold clothes. Time to talk. Nerd butler to the rescue. I need to sit her down, but I can't. I'm distracted. I need to tell her before it's too late. A perfect halo of cold hair and lightning. Tomorrow is a new day.
[Tuesday] Wake up in her arms. She's beautiful. Can't we skip class? No, I suppose not. Better luck next-time. Breakfast. Waffles. om' nom nom'. Class. Can't focus. Not enough sleep. Nod off. She pokes me awake. Focus. Focus. Focus. Walk across campus. Sit on the grass. Sift through her sketchbook. It's fantastic. Class. Exam. Class. Wait. Her place. She cooks. It's delicious. Stew. Best I've ever had. Just Dance. I still suck. Attempt to read. Fail miserably. Retire for the night. Head over heels. I'm in-lesbians. Bring them on. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX.
+------+ UPDATE #5 +------+
The following video was my weekend. How was yours?
+------+ UPDATE #6 +------+
Tonight we spoke on the phone for close to two hours. I told her over and over again that this wasn't about her, but instead a fault of mine. My heart broke as she began to cry. I'm needy. I'm greedy. I'm selfish. I'm a louse. She's beautiful, and no matter what happens I still adore her. We can't decide whether to be more than friends or go back. If I'm honest with myself; I don't want to return to being simply just friends, but I believe in the long-term that I'll hurt her. Ultimately, I believe that I lack the capacity to have a relationship of this nature with another human being. I'm too broken. She's too wonderful, and I don't deserve her company. She needs someone that will give her the adventures her life deserves. That will provide for her. I tried to reassure her over and over again that I respect her, and that I admire her, and that although those qualities aren't going to change -- that she can walk away from this knowing that there isn't any hard feelings. I don't think she knows what she wants. I don't think I know what I want anymore.
Maybe, I just don't want to break someone's heart. Maybe I'd like to spare someone some pain down the road, and although it'll hurt a little today, I know that it will be easier for them with someone else. I understand that, and even though I hate to admit it to myself it's the truth. It's painful, and it scares me. But this time I'm not going to run.
So people of ASDF, please send me your karma once more. It's a rainy day outside and I'll need every pinch I can manage.
+------+ UPDATE #7 +------+
Tonight we had it out for an hour in the car. When the dust settled, it was clear where we stood.
I, the over-invested fool -- and she, the undeniable queen of vogue. From different worlds we came, and to different worlds we'll return. Thank You for the memories, J. You were always out of my league. Be good.
I-I-I'll ... keep that in mind ...
I'm now sending positive karma you'z guy'z way.
Think 8-Mile. Know the moment when it comes. 
