Count to 10000

[Froggychum]

That makes 8341 sense

[atomtengeralattjaro]

8342, however...

[the remainder of this post ominously left blank]

[Naddarobo]

The art of counting
by Naddarobo

if you told me 8343 years ago that I would be writing an article about counting, I'd say that my career options would be running thin. And I would be right. But the thing about counting numbers is that it uses up more of your brain than you think.


Subscribe to The Human Times to keep reading.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

Subscribed!
8344

[Naddarobo]

rest of the article:
Haha you ACTUALLY purchased a subscription for 8345 moneybucks? I feel bad for you. You just got scammed son!
oh man, I feel bad. Not bad enough to give back the money though.

[UNiLATERAL]

I've been gone for 8346 chelonian years, what'd I miss???

[Froggychum]

you missed 8347 new fast and furious movies.
they are all the same as the first one, though.
So really you're all caught up.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

83 fast 48 furious

[Froggychum]

8349

[atomtengeralattjaro]

There are three unnamed mountain peaks in the united states that are 8350 feet (2545 meters) high.
https://peakbagger.com/peak.aspx?pid=146926
https://peakbagger.com/peak.aspx?pid=126922
https://peakbagger.com/peak.aspx?pid=87500

[Froggychum]

8351 why put so much effort into counting thread?
next person to reply has to solve a millennium problem or gets permabanned

[atomtengeralattjaro]

this post took 8352 IEU (international effort units)

[Froggychum]

8353
we did it we finally standardized measurements for subjective values.
next, let's quantify the exact weight of the human soul. anyone with a score below some arbitrary number gets genocided! YAY!

[Naddarobo]

8353
i know the weight of my soul is 0 because i have none
anyways the next step is to quantify human happiness

[Froggychum]

no soul?
ah, so just like [insert group of people i dont like]

just kidding. Obviously, souls don't exist in the first place - so nobody gets one whether i like them or not
(if souls do exist, does that mean we can create torture that lasts even after the 'release' brough by the oblivion of death? in such a case, more experiments are needed... let us commit unfathomable cosmic atrocities! hurray!)

---

Quantify happiness? You got it, boss.

okay, we have 8354 happy points. 1 happy point is the lowest potency of positive emotions that can be accurately identified by humans. 0 happy points means one is in a state of utter suffering, im talking full IHNMAIMS shit. Biblical hell style. Nightmare fuel stuff.

Now, split those eight thousand something points among all 8 billion people. If you split it evenly, the average human would gain 0.0001% of a single happy point. That is less than one millionth of the happiness they would need to be able to actually notice a change in their experience of reality.

If you gave all the points to someone, it would be the equivalent of maybe 800 smiles, 80 moments of intense human connection (friendship, romantic, family, etc), or 8 feelings of major accomplishment (finishing a lifelong project, winning a large athletic event, birth of a child) or about 80% of the euphoria you would feel if a scientist injected pure dopamine into your spinal cord for an hour

For reference, the average person would probably have tens or even hundreds of thousands of happy points across their whole life.

Have fun, if you can.
Whatever you choose, the quality of life of all living beings will be immeasurably worsened than their current state.

What's next for us to soullessly quantify, my fellow holistic positivists?

[atomtengeralattjaro]

Humans have quantified 8356 things throughout history. And then some.

(yeah we're at 8356)

[Froggychum]

That's 8357 things too many!

[atomtengeralattjaro]

yeah but 8358

[Froggychum]

counterpoint: 8359

[Durpy]

Well well well the famous count to 8360 topic ends here as I finally count to

8
3
6
0


Edit: my bad i cant read the topic name is count to 8361 I will not be able to sit in the throne the the one that may claim the prize of counting to the big number