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Ok, here all the feedback and comments for A Story (Ok, I don't have a good name for it yet) goes.

All feedback is appreciated! I know I have made mistakes, it would be great if you point them out
Seriously though, I won't bite or be mad if you tell me it's shit and I need to rewrite the entire thing, as long as you give a reason why...

Posted this because I really don't want to write a sh!t load just for it to turn out to be sh!t...

The story can be read here.

No spamming allowed in this thread! It is for feedback and comments only!

EDIT: Temporarily changed name to This World...

I'm bad at reading stuff...

This story has some mild entertainment, it doesn't exactly pull me in...
But it can be just me...

It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

One week is 7 days, Shai was using symbols...

Isn't seven days a little bit too long?

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

CX gamer wrote:One week is 7 days, Shai was using symbols...

Actually, no

CX gamer wrote:I'm bad at reading stuff...

This story has some mild entertainment, it doesn't exactly pull me in...
But it can be just me...

I have the feeling you're not too fond of reading stories, especially fantasy stories

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

How are they going to spice up the food in just short time?

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

How are they going to spice up the food in just short time?

What?

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

How are they going to spice up the food in just short time?

What?

Nothing important really.. I was thinking of the seasoning of the food. The food will not take in the lovely taste from the spices.

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

How are they going to spice up the food in just short time?

What?

Nothing important really.. I was thinking of the seasoning of the food. The food will not take in the lovely taste from the spices.

Umm... Ok, sure... I think you missed the fact that they're going to a market to buy the food, in another city...

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:

Shai'tan wrote:

ForrestKeys wrote:It was great so far, but I can't understand why he waited about one week when he was asked to buy fireworks, ale and meat.. Weren't they going to celebrate?

Yes, they were, but half the point was also to bring along the others...

How are they going to spice up the food in just short time?

What?

Nothing important really.. I was thinking of the seasoning of the food. The food will not take in the lovely taste from the spices.

Umm... Ok, sure... I think you missed the fact that they're going to a market to buy the food, in another city...

Sorry, I just got lost in my own world.

Ok...

I wish Lunar was here

It's not that easy to summon luanr...

Yes, he might not have an internet conection or something... He hasn't een read my birthday PM.

But yes, great story so far Shai.

One thing is the word vary. It's used in therenat some point and I don't know what you mean by it.

keja wrote:Yes, he might not have an internet conection or something... He hasn't een read my birthday PM.

But yes, great story so far Shai.

One thing is the word vary. It's used in therenat some point and I don't know what you mean by it.

Thank you.

Hmm... I think I meant a different word, but I can't remember which... I'll fix it...

EDIT: Turns out I misspelled wary...

*waits for continuation*

Yea, I think I need to work on that, I actually haven't written anything more ATM... But I should get around to it soon... So much to do

Take your time... No one likes a rushed story...

And yet fans want a new story right away.

Fans don't want a bad story...