If this isn't allowed that's fine. Some see comedy as an art I guess.
If you got it post it!
Following forum rules.
Three guys are sitting in a boat, a Rabbi, a Priest, and a Shaman
The Rabbi gets out and walks to shore and comes back with a drink
The Shaman does the same
Well the Priest figures if they can do it so can he and he tries and falls in the water and nearly drowns
"Sorry" says the Rabbi
"We forgot to tell you about the stepping stones"
Comedy
Moderator: keja
-
lunar_furor
- ASDF Prophet
- Posts: 4346
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 3:34 pm
- Location: Most likely at work
-
ThingerDudes
- ASDF Warlord
- Posts: 20958
- Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:12 am
- Location: near, far, wherever i are
-
lunar_furor
- ASDF Prophet
- Posts: 4346
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 3:34 pm
- Location: Most likely at work
Re: Comedy
Congress? xD
Quote of the Ages:
atomtengeralattjaro wrote:The Forums of ASDF turn, and Pages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Page that gave it birth comes again. On one Page, called the Six Hundred and Ninety Fifth Page by some, a Page yet to come, a Page long past, a post was made by atomtengeralattjaro. The post was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Forums of ASDF. But it was a beginning.
Re: Comedy
I like Lunar's one... the only Joke I ever wrote my self was about the controlling nature of the mother of an acquaintance of mine, so you wouldn't get it...
How about...
Person1: Knock Knock!
Person2: Who's there?
Person3: Cthul
In the spirit of me getting a big book of H P Lovecraft stories for Kejamas!
How about...
Person1: Knock Knock!
Person2: Who's there?
Person3: Cthul
In the spirit of me getting a big book of H P Lovecraft stories for Kejamas!
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
Of nothing in particular
-
atomtengeralattjaro
- Site Admin
- Posts: 37513
- Joined: Wed May 23, 2007 3:43 pm
- Location: green
- Pronouns: he / they / that submarine
- Contact:
Re: Comedy
is this thread for self-written comedy?
hmm, it could be a game.. or art, i really don't know.
i don't write jokes, i prefer absurd humour.. see forums.asdf.com
hmm, it could be a game.. or art, i really don't know.
i don't write jokes, i prefer absurd humour.. see forums.asdf.com
Re: Comedy
I like Flight of the Conchords... they can sing and be funny at the same time.
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
Of nothing in particular
-
lunar_furor
- ASDF Prophet
- Posts: 4346
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 3:34 pm
- Location: Most likely at work
-
zeldaalltheway
- ASDF-Ville Officer
- Posts: 805
- Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 8:40 pm
- Location: wherever i am
Re: Comedy
Only in America ........do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America .........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .........do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America.............do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .........do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER .....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
heh, rofl
Only in America .........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .........do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America.............do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .........do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER .....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
heh, rofl
People are like slinkies. They're pointless, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
Re: Comedy
Sorry to be annoying but:
Only in America .........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Happens pretty much everywhere that sells these things
Only in America .........do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
It's the same with banks in Britain too
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Again, an international thing
Only in America.............do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Wherever you can buy frankfurters and buns, you can get this
EVER WONDER .....
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
I'm pretty sure they can
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Because people who win the lottery don't usually make headlines in most places. It's not proper news
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is long such a short word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Because they are practising, perhaps?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Lemons are good for cleaning... Actual Lemon juice is not made with artificial flavours
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why has this man got my money? I didn't give it to him.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because everyone is in a rush to get home
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Cats don't usually eat the mice, they just kill them
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Who said that he didn't?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
In case the dirty needle infects parts of the body that are able to be donated I suppose, where are you getting this information anyway?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Too heavy. Next question please.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why would it shrink?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
*sigh* I'm not even going to bother answering this one...
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
regress
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
A terminal is only part of the airport...
Only in America .........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Happens pretty much everywhere that sells these things
Only in America .........do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
It's the same with banks in Britain too
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Again, an international thing
Only in America.............do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Wherever you can buy frankfurters and buns, you can get this
EVER WONDER .....
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
I'm pretty sure they can
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Because people who win the lottery don't usually make headlines in most places. It's not proper news
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is long such a short word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Because they are practising, perhaps?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Lemons are good for cleaning... Actual Lemon juice is not made with artificial flavours
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why has this man got my money? I didn't give it to him.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because everyone is in a rush to get home
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Cats don't usually eat the mice, they just kill them
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Who said that he didn't?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
In case the dirty needle infects parts of the body that are able to be donated I suppose, where are you getting this information anyway?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Too heavy. Next question please.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why would it shrink?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
*sigh* I'm not even going to bother answering this one...
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
regress
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
A terminal is only part of the airport...
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
Of nothing in particular
-
ThingerDudes
- ASDF Warlord
- Posts: 20958
- Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:12 am
- Location: near, far, wherever i are
-
lunar_furor
- ASDF Prophet
- Posts: 4346
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 3:34 pm
- Location: Most likely at work
Re: Comedy
Hay in 9/11 (kuz i'm the devils advocate) that black box DIDN'T survive the first crash.... but a pass port did. Explain that.
Ok ok ok... ok.
Ok so this is supposed to be told different but due to the rules of the forum it has been changed
A white guy w/ a parrot walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Where did you get that?"
The parrot says "Alabama"
Ok ok ok... ok.
Ok so this is supposed to be told different but due to the rules of the forum it has been changed
A white guy w/ a parrot walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Where did you get that?"
The parrot says "Alabama"
Re: Comedy
I don't really get it, because I'm not from the country, but I'll assume it's funny...
There's two birds sitting on a perch and one says to the other "can you smell fish?".
There's two birds sitting on a perch and one says to the other "can you smell fish?".
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
Of nothing in particular
-
DomTar275
- ASDF Princess
- Posts: 1493
- Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:58 pm
- Location: United States, MI
- Contact:
Re: Comedy
I can put mascara on with my mouth closed, just putting that out there.
I can sing solo!
SO-LO YOU CAN'T HEAR ME! haaaaa!
I can sing solo!
SO-LO YOU CAN'T HEAR ME! haaaaa!
-
lunar_furor
- ASDF Prophet
- Posts: 4346
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 3:34 pm
- Location: Most likely at work
Re: Comedy
Technically it's supposed to be a black guy w/ a parrot and the parrot says Africa.keja wrote:I don't really get it, because I'm not from the country, but I'll assume it's funny...
There's two birds sitting on a perch and one says to the other "can you smell fish?".
but that's racist so i changed it.
Re: Comedy
I suppose that's sort of funny... but not in a good way.
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
Of nothing in particular
-
ThingerDudes
- ASDF Warlord
- Posts: 20958
- Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:12 am
- Location: near, far, wherever i are
Re: Comedy
A guy in a bar on the tenth floor takes a shot of tequila and jumps out the window. moments later, the same guy enters the bar. Another man, watching this, asks the man how he did that. "It's easy. I just take a shot of tequila and jump out the window. then, moments before you hit the ground, you stop, then just land on your feet." The other man takes a shot of tequila, jumps out the window, and dies. The bartender says to the first man "you know superman. you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
-
zeldaalltheway
- ASDF-Ville Officer
- Posts: 805
- Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 8:40 pm
- Location: wherever i am
Re: Comedy
nice
and keja...you just ruined that
btw i copied it from another site
and keja...you just ruined that
btw i copied it from another site
People are like slinkies. They're pointless, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
'd?-
zeldaalltheway
- ASDF-Ville Officer
- Posts: 805
- Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 8:40 pm
- Location: wherever i am
Re: Comedy
i don't think so...
People are like slinkies. They're pointless, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.