Reviving the Revival of the Revived Jokes Thread

[atomtengeralattjaro]

But are there any things that are so good they're bad?

[Anonymously Famous]

Probably.

[ThingerDudes]

I guess things like cancer is so good at messing things up that they're bad for us.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

nah but that doesn't make it good, just because it's good at being bad.

I was thinking the Sun is pretty good for us, but it's also kinda too hot and too bright if you look closely (don't).

[Anonymously Famous]

This was told to me as a true story.

This older gentleman was asked what the secret was to living a long life.

He said that you just need to make sure you get up every morning.

When he was asked how you make sure you get up every morning, he said that you need to make sure to drink plenty of water before going to bed.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

that sounds like a good idea, but how does it help you if you are stabbed to death

[Uly]

if you drank all your water you would have more blood and that wouldn't be a problem

[ThingerDudes]

the stabby holes relieve pressure built up in your body from the stresses of modern society


...that sounds a lot darker than I intended...

[Uly]

I'll need a lot of holes

[Anonymously Famous]

the stabby holes relieve pressure built up in your body from the stresses of modern society


...that sounds a lot darker than I intended...

Yeah it does.

[assdef]

I think I should sell my vacuum cleaner. All it does is collect dust.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

man, that joke sucks

[Anonymously Famous]

It actually creates a difference in air pressure so that things are pushed in from the outside.

[atomtengeralattjaro]

woah

[Uly]

Jack of all trades
master of pun

[atomtengeralattjaro]

Time for another stolen joke!


How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

[Anonymously Famous]

My mother-in-law taught my daughter a joke over the weekend.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Nobody!
Nobody who?
...

[assdef]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[Anonymously Famous]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[assdef]

What's the approximate internal temperature of a tauntaun?

Luke warm.